I may have been a bit too leisurely in describing my creative prowess as well as my abilities to will ideas into existence. I described two steps:
1. Think of something awesome.
2. Awesomeness Ensues.

I neglected to mention the in-between steps which I have diagrammed below:



Yes, Lady Failure goes hand-in-hand with my awesomeness. That wanton woman of ill-repute has sullied every one of my attempts at a pure victory. For each one of my awesome successes is built on a firm foundation of failure.

She gets around.

It is long and arduous, and for most it involves tedious brainstorming, filtering through innumerable amounts of ideas, only to build the best of the best of the best.

Yes, creativity is a fickle mistress which many try to woo, often to inadequate and impotent results.

Except me.

Illustrated below is my creative process:

Awesomeness. That’s how I roll.

—–

The Utter Hilarity Of Your Shenanigans Has Made Me Wet My Pants In Giddy Delight

That was the precursor to LOL. Ah, yes! I was there when it happened. I can recall it as if it was the mid-1990’s.

My father had just come home from a long, arduous day at the textile mill. He tirelessly unpacked an immensely cumbersome package from his horseless carriage and hauled it inside. Placing it proudly in the center of his smoking room, he wiped his furrowed brow with utter delight as he unfastened the cardboard crate, bellowing ‘BEHOLD! The Inter-Net. This will revolutionize the way we connect! Everything is about to change, my son!’

‘Oh Father, you are incorrigible! We’ll never be more connected than we are presently! Things can’t possibly get any better! Now, if you’ll excuse me, my beeper is going off on a 9-1-1.’

I hastily dialed the number displayed upon my pager; it was the Future. It told me to immediately halt the disparaging of Father because he was right. And, if I kept it up, I would find myself getting molly whopped in the noodle. Before I could ask It for any winning lottery numbers, the Future hung up.

I went back to Father and apologized for making fun of his “Inter-Net” even though it was a frivolous idea and nobody would ever use his system of silly tubes. Nothing would ever change.

He told me that it was all right and that I should be prepared.

‘For what?’

‘For anything.’

‘Why?’

Then he molly whopped me in the noodle.

‘Oh Father, you’re incorrigible! TUHOYSHMMWMPIGD!!!’

You can keep your LOL.

I prefer the classics.

Since I have taken it upon myself to lead such a pleasurable life, I have been bestowed with the gift and responsibility of communicating to the public any manner of fun and enjoyable things which happen upon my ever-so-humble being. Therefore, I have put together this collection of digitized articles to disseminate all of my findings within the Annals of Enjoyment that I learned from my wonderful and short life.

I will bestow upon you, my beautiful friends, benefits such as:

• hilarious articles
• witty illustrations
• examples of enjoyment

I will aim to post one article per week for a year. It will be witty and you will smirk. Indeed, it may be a grin, a twinkle, or an all out beam, but you will turn the corners of your mouth up and your teeth will be exposed. For that is my goal, gentle reader: to spread smiles.